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Critical Reflection

- Theme and Background

My research throughout the previous postgraduate studies concentrated on the verbal abuse and bodily rejection I experienced during my early school life. Additionally, I explored my sentiments regarding self-identity and memory. I connected it to the harsh lessons that my mother taught me and the occasional unpleasant comments that she made to me when I was a child.


The relationship between a Chinese mother and her daughter is frequently characterised as one that is both close and intricate. The mother takes on the dual role of a strict educator and a selfless  dedicator, while the daughter is anxious for her mother's favour but frequently feels pushed by her mother's high expectations. These kinds of relationships are frequently rife with implicit expectations and profound feelings, but they also have the potential to give rise to paradoxes and conflicts. The connection between mother and daughter is highly impacted by Confucian culture, which promotes the collectivism of the family while contrasting the quest of personal self-worth, and this is the major source of friction. In order to guarantee that their daughters grow up in accordance with their ideas, mothers frequently instruct them, exert control over them, and even make sacrifices themselves. Meanwhile, daughters strive to discover their own identity and find a harmony in their lives.

There is no doubt in my life that my mother is the person I care about and love the most. In spite of this, my mother is the one and only with whom I have engaged in the most heated debates and the most heated disagreements throughout the entirety of my life. As a result, the ideas and resolutions that surround my connection with my mother are the primary subject of my writing.


I gradually based my decision on the difficulties I had encountered in my previous life with my mother's method of getting along with her, as well as the harm I had endured as a result of the connection that occurred between my mother and my daughter. Although these were things that I had never given any thought to in my previous life, I gradually based my decision on these things.

My creative ideas have been informed by research that I have performed in two key areas: art therapy and self-discovery.

Self-discovering

The notion of the human being is referenced in the text of the book titled "The Meaning of Things: Domestic Symbols and the Self," which was written by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.Every individual is an expression of their own learning, experience, and consciousness. This is what makes up a human being.Self-consciousness and self-control are characteristics of human beings. This is due to the fact that human beings possess subjective self-consciousness and the "self," as Descartes puts it. According to Descartes, thinking is the foundation of personal existence.I-thinking is a process that occurs in time and space and involves the relationship between subject and object, as well as the interaction between oneself and other people.To put it another way, self-consciousness and self-knowledge are not direct but rather inferential traits.The state of being self-conscious is characterised by the self being an object of contemplation.

-Csikszentmihalyi, M., Rochberg-Halton, E., Halton, E. (1981). The meaning of things : domestic symbols and the self. UK: Cambridge University Press.

Art theraphy

Author and analyst David Simon provides a fresh viewpoint on Winnicott's work on the connection between art and psychotherapy in his book titled "Self-Healing Through Visual and Verbal Art Therapy." Simon writes, "With regard to creativity, he argues that the impulse to create is a unique thing." Simon places this theory at the core of his approach to the creative arts as a natural means of self-healing. He draws three approaches from his practice: creativity is an instinct, the work that is created can be seen as a symbolic language, and the process of creation can be seen as a means of self-healing through the creative process. There is a "self-repair" and an unconscious "will to live" in people's creativity, which may go beyond the boundaries of medical treatment and have an influence on the psyche, and the authors discovered that creativity is the art of healing when they were studying instances of art therapy. Their findings were based on the fact that people's creativity is the art of healing. The fact that it may have an effect on the mind that is beyond the scope of medical treatment lends credence to the notion that creativity is the art of healing.

-Simon, D. (2005) Self-healing through visual and verbal communication. Self-healing through visual and verbal art therapy. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

- Personal Experience

My relationship with my mother has been the most intimate between us ever since I was a youngster. A big part of my time in my life has been studying and living with my mom, despite the fact that she might not always be by my side. At the conclusion of a number of years spent studying in a different nation, I was able to establish my independence in both my life and my education. My personal growing experience progressively generated a divergence between my mother's way of thinking and my own way of thinking during the stage of my academic life in which my mother did not participate. My emotions are harmed by the regular and intense arguments.


There are three distinct groups of photographs that make up my body of work, and each of these groups relates to a different way in which I portray my connection with my mother.

The first stage

My mother was quite active in my life during most of my youth. She was always there for me. Together, we were inseparable, and our thoughts and perspectives were extremely congruent with one another. On the other hand, when I travelled to another country to pursue my education, there was quite a distance between us in terms of both time and location. My mother and I progressively became estranged from one another as a result of this distance. When someone who is closest to you says something that appears to do not understand you, even if it does not appear to be a serious comment to someone who is not a part of the connection, it may be highly damaging to someone who is in a meaningful relationship with that person.

The second stage

The excitement is the feeling when leaving the constraints of the family, and the yearning for independence are the beginning stages of the experience of studying abroad. As the amount of time spent alone outside grows longer and longer, the more I am  able to feel the warmth of the family, and the feeling of homesickness becomes stronger and stronger day by day. Nevertheless, in tandem with the development of the notion of thinking and the progressive maturation of the concept of independence, the differences and barriers that existed between my mother and me steadily developed, as did the differences and barriers that led to the generation of disagreements. It is because of the linked nature of the anguish and struggle that comes from homesickness. And also the rejection of my mother towards understanding me, that it leads to the idea of "home," is emotionally complicated to me.

The third stage

My nostalgia for my home reached its zenith after I had served as a student in another country for many years. As a result, the conflict that was inevitably going to arise as a result of the awakening of my feeling of autonomy manifested itself when I eventually went home. In the midst of a heated disagreement, I came to the realisation that the difference in perception between the two of us could not be compensated for by the home absence and desire for family affection that had been between us, and neither side could back down from their respective stances. As a result of this enormous disparity in feelings, my anticipation of going back home was abruptly dampened, and it was replaced with feelings of disappointment and anguish. Even though I am fully aware that my mother and I have caused one another a tremendous deal of pain, our love for each other is still so profound. This realization came about as a result of my research and contemplation, which took place throughout the creative process.

- Research of Background

"Probably there is nothing in human nature more resonant with charges than the flow of energy between two biologically alike bodies, one of which has lain in amniotic bliss inside the other, one of which has laboured to give birth to the other."

-Hirsch, M. (1981). Mothers and Daughters. Signs, 7(1), 200–222.

 

I gradually based my decision on the difficulties I had encountered in my previous life with my mother's method of getting along with her, as well as the harm I had endured as a result of the connection that occurred between mother and daughter. Despite the fact that these were things that I had never given any thought to in my previous life, I gradually based my decision on these things. My creative ideas have been informed by research that I have performed in three key areas: mother-daughter relationship, art therapy and self-discovery.

Mother-daughter relationship

In her book titled "Mother-daughter Relationship and Daughter's Self-Esteem," published in 2013, Selin Onayli addresses the connection that exists between the mother-daughter relationship and the self-esteem of the adult daughter. When the mother-daughter relationship results in the daughter developing feelings of self-esteem as she matures into an adult, the bond between the mother and daughter grows as the daughter's self-esteem grows, and the interdependence between them is inversely proportional to the daughter's self-esteem. Her research demonstrates that this is the case. When put another way, the relationship between a mother and her daughter becomes more intimate and the mother and daughter grow less dependent on one another as the girl becomes more self-sufficient.

-Onayli, S., & Erdur-Baker, O. (2013). Mother-daughter relationship and daughter’s self esteem. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences, 84, 327–331.

 

Self-discovering

The notion of the human being is referenced in the text of the book titled "The Meaning of Things: Domestic Symbols and the Self," which was written by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Every individual is a reflection of their own learning, experience, and consciousness. This is what makes up a human being's inner core. Self-consciousness and self-control are characteristics of human beings. This is due to the fact that human beings possess subjective self-consciousness and the "self," as Descartes puts it. According to Descartes, I think therefore I am (Cogito, ergo sum). "I'm thinking" is a process that occurs in time and space and involves the relationship between subject and object as well as the interaction between oneself and other people. To put it another way, self-consciousness and self-awareness are not direct but rather inferential traits. The state of being self-conscious is characterised by the self being an object of contemplation.

-Csikszentmihalyi, M., Rochberg-Halton, E., Halton, E. (1981). The meaning of things : domestic symbols and the self. UK: Cambridge University Press.

 

After some reflection, I came to the conclusion that my mother and I are the most important individuals in one other's relationships. Consequently, I gradually started to investigate and contemplate the reasons why we constantly had frequent disputes and the methods in which I might prevent having arguments with my mother.

I came up with a principle after reading Wu Zhihong's "Deep Relationships": to differentiate between the things that I am able to control and those that I am not able to manage. The development of a feeling of subjectivity in a kid is made more challenging when the youngster is subjected to an excessive amount of control by their parents. The things that their mother and father instruct them to do highly likely become the only ones that contribute to the formation of their sense of who they are as individuals. Because of this, in order to cultivate this individuality, training is necessary. First and foremost, I need to ask myself, "Is this a conscious thought within my subject?" if I find myself being affected by other people. If this is not the case, then it is not something that I am potentially responsible for, nor is it something that I have the ability to influence. It is also a form of conduct that involves other people in my own subject, with ambiguous limits, and I have no means of regulating what other people think of me. On the other hand, I have no control over what other people think my thoughts are. Because of this logic, it will be difficult for me to differentiate between the things that are under my control and those that are not. As a result, it is easy to have the impression that the feelings and requirements of other people are connected to me, and at that point, I will be influenced. Additionally, I came to the realisation that my mother would adopt the challenges I was going through as her own and then attack me as a child with a variety of feelings.

The more we communicate, the more problems we have

George Bernard Shaw once stated, "The most issue with communication is that individuals assume that they have communicated." An example of what is known as an "intuitive trap" is the assumption that is expressed in this phrase. The book "The Art of Communication," written by Ronald B. Adler and Russell F. Proctor, makes the observation that the demands that we wish to fulfil through communication are quite different from one another. People have a natural tendency to exaggerate the transparency of other people's manifestations of their psychological condition, as well as the illusion of transparency that the other person has regarding their comprehension. When individuals speak with one another, they may find themselves in a situation in which six individuals are conversing at the same time. These individuals include your perception of you, your perception of him or her, his or her perception of you, his or her perception of him or hers, as well as the actual you and the real him or her. My interactions with my mother frequently give the impression that we are being completely open and honest. In reality, we have merely stated hazy sentiments and requirements, despite the fact that we both believe that we have spoken ourselves clearly. We have a natural tendency to assume that the other person should comprehend what we are saying, and it is this natural expectation that leads us to overestimate the correctness of our own communication, which in turn leads to misconceptions. Furthermore, as a result of these misconceptions, we give each other pain and disappointment. As a result, I came to the realization that in many situations, we both need to remind ourselves to consider and respect the other person as an independent entity who is entirely distinct from us.

Art theraphy

Author and analyst David Simon provides a fresh viewpoint on Winnicott's work on the connection between art and psychotherapy in his book titled "Self-Healing Through Visual and Verbal Art Therapy." Simon writes, "With regard to creativity, he argues that the impulse to create is a unique thing." Simon places this theory at the core of his approach to the creative arts, which is an intuitive sense of method of self-healing. He draws three approaches from his practice: creativity is an instinct, the work that is created can be seen as a symbolic language, and the process of creation can be viewed as a meaning of self-healing through the creative process. There is a “self-healing" and an unconscious "will to live" in the process of people's creativity, which may go beyond the boundaries of medical treatment and have an influence on the psyche, and the authors discovered that creativity is the art of healing when they were studying instances of art therapy. Their findings were based on the conclusion that people are capable of self-healing through creating art. As a result, it may have an effect on the mind that is beyond the scope of medical treatment, lending credence to the notion that "creativity is the art of healing."

-Simon, D. (2005) Self-healing through visual and verbal communication. Self-healing through visual and verbal art therapy. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

 

- Research of Method

The commonplace things that have an impact on artistic expression. Within the realm of conventional art, the connection between commonplace things and artistic expression is strained. In contrast to the materials that are commonly available in everyday life, the materials that are utilised in traditional art are sometimes expensive or even unique. Because of the selection of materials, art is made more approachable, the borders between art and reality are blurred, and the audience is made aware that art is not something that is high and detached, but rather something that may be an integral part of everyday life. The use of commonplace things in great quantities is a characteristic of the art genre known as pop art. The usage of this subject matter is regarded as a challenge to the conventional art approach.

-Kuspit, D. B. (1976). Pop Art: A Reactionary Realism. Art Journal, 36(1), 31–38.

 

The Australian photographer Anne Zahalka depicts interior scenes of her friends in their houses in her work titled "Open House," which was completed in 1995. The photos depict Zahalka's friends surrounded by decorations and other items that are a part of their everyday life. The editor of Griffith REVIEW, Carody Culver, and Zahalka had a conversation on the close relationship that exists between individuals and the things they own.

The exhibition "Open House" depicts a close relationship between people and things. One may use things to determine people's living circumstances, emotions, and probable storylines simply by drawing inferences and utilizing common sense. This demonstrates not only that everyday requirements can be utilised to depict people's lives without the need for characters, but it also demonstrates that one can use everyday items to show people about their lives. "This is the reason why I use a lot of everyday necessities in my work, particularly the most commonplace items that are closest to people's lives, but twist the end in order to demonstrate the dissonant aspects that are present in personal life." The reason I display them in an unsettling manner is to ensure that people are able to emotionally connect with them while also allowing opportunity for the spectator to contemplate and envision something.

-Zahalka, A. (2024). The comfort of objects: Making art from the small rituals of daily life. Griffith REVIEW, (84), 92–96.

 

- Method of Creation

I am of the opinion that the process of waking one's self-awareness is the process of reflecting on oneself, and that the completion of the task is the completion of the process of awakening one's self-sentience. I am finding and redefining my own existence at the same time that I am working on to get the perfection of this work.

 

I decided to take a creative approach by selecting commonplace items from my surroundings in order to produce an image that would be easier to understand and more visually stunning for the viewer. In the meantime, I attempted to preserve the narrative connection that exists between people and items. If the project cannot be a linear, narrative sequence of images, not only will it be challenging to construct a story, but it will also be impossible to evoke an emotional resonance in the viewer with the subject matter. We can only achieve the feelings embodied in the artwork through the production of a series of narratives, driven by the narrative approach.

 

I use the method of installation photography—selecting everyday objects from around me to create installations and photographing and recording them. Installation photography is an art form that uses photography as a creative method to present or record installation art. Its presentation not only serves as a record of the art installation, but also presents the work as if it were a new creation. This includes how to lay out the frame, how to display the scene, and how to convey the space, atmosphere, and creative intent of the installation art. In addition to showcasing the creative techniques of pure art, it is crucial to comprehend the distinctions between photography and the three-dimensional presentation of installations. Among the things to pay attention to are complex lighting, composition, and perspective. I have extensively used this presentation method in my work so that the viewer can experience the emotions I want to convey and generate emotional resonance.

- Personal Reflection

I am examining my relationship with my mother in a completely new way. Usually, when photographers express their emotions, they habitually let the human figures appear in the frame, using this method to show human emotions and thereby achieve the goal of making the viewer emotionally empathise. However, when creating the image, I used objects related to people without directly involving them. Therefore, thanks to the presentation of the work's narrative and continuity, it does not affect the viewer's emotional resonance when viewing my work.

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